Monday, January 13, 2014

Scott Pilgrim and Love, or lack thereof

(spoiler alert: this post talks about 500 Days of Summer and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World in vague detail. Both movies are nearly 5 years old but don't say I never did anything for you.)

The idea of 'the one' is something that is as equally coveted as it is overrated. That's not to say the idea of meeting someone and having things 'just click' doesn't exist, it's just that far too many people are chasing an idealistic view of love that they've been force fed by the movies. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of the silly love story and indulge in them quite often (it's kind of a requirement if you enjoy musicals at all). As enjoyable as it may be to watch as two characters lock eyes from across the room and instantly know that they are destined to be together, that isn't what anyone should expect from real life. That feeling is called infatuation and I don't suggest making any serious decisions while intoxicated, both booze and love-drunk can lead to a dangerous states of mind. The similarities between a crush and alcoholism don't stop there, they both plague my generation.

Don't learn about love from movies
I still watch this movie at a level that probably isn't considered healthy
This is what is wrong with most emotionally high minded, moderately well cultured, mid-twenty individuals (or my peers, at a glance). As I was picking a new background for the laptop (a still frame from the movie 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World') a co-worker walked up, noticed the scene and commented, "Typical hipster" in jest. All rebuttals aside, he's right. For the sake of my sanity, however, we're still going to refer to hipsters as 'them' in this article (lest we forget: the first rule of being a hipster is we don't talk about being a hipster). This group of people also make up the majority of people I would consider dating. Dating among hipsters has a different set of courtship rules; conventional dating is dead. The androgyny that is often applied to gender roles spills into our process of acquiring mates as well. We cannot simply express our interest in someone, for that would be too forward. Instead, in lines with keeping things light and open, we might get into a habit of spending time with someone. That someone might just share a physical attraction with you and, if you're ready for that level of seriousness, you might consider them 'someone you're seeing' (heaven forbid conventional labels should apply).  With rare exception these rules are broken and often it's in the presence of feeling that someone is special, different, or 'the one'.

Ah-ha! Gotcha there! Didn't you start by saying 'the one' didn't exist!?

Exactly, infatuation is often mistaken for the mindset that 'the one' does exist. We have movies like Scott Piligrim where our protagonist has to physically fight his way through all odds to be with the woman of his dreams. People are still waiting for a feeling like that before they're willing to put themselves out there and risk the emotional disappointment that might come from stepping out of the gray area we've establish for dating. Close on the heels of Scott Pilgrim is the mis-interpreted '500 Days of Summer.' A movie in which the main character chases a girl (Summer) and has his heart crushed, only to end with his interest sparked in another girl who could be 'the one.' Often this movie leaves people crying 'but Summer is a bitch!' despite an introduction that directly adresses the main character's skewed vision of love and a dialogue between his younger sister and himself which calls him out on it.

I'm not a cynic when it comes to dating. Despite the sweeping bitter overtones here, I do believe in finding a partner and spending a long, happy time with them. I know a number of very happy couples, a fact that facebook loves to remind me of, who have found success with a mate. These people who have been with someone for a long time rarely describe their stories as finding 'the one.' In fact, they will probably tell you that long term partnerships require a lot of hard work and dedication and there are times you might not even like your partner. I just wish this wasn't something that I had to learn overtime and it's something I wish my peers would wake up to sooner than later.

1 comment:

S. Weber said...

First, I like your writing style. Second, I completely agree. Third, I think I'm half-hipster, but, you know, I don't like labels so whatever. Finally, I really want a strawberry smoothie. That is all. Keep it up.